Iowa meets Africa

Grinnell, Iowa.  April 29, 2012, 8 a.m.

After staring for a couple of minutes, kid having breakfast at the hotel gathers the courage: “You look like a professional football player.”

“I wish,” I say.

He’s disappointed.

I’m surprised. I’ve had “basketball player” a couple of times (because I guess I could pass for a point guard.) But football player? Maybe a wide receiver.  Anyway…good grits.

“But I bet you like The Packers,” his Little League buddy adds.

“You mean the Green Bay Packers?” –

“Yes.” – Kid 2

“Ummm, not particularly. I don’t follow football much.”

“So what’s your favorite football team?” – Kid 2

“Well, I’m supposed to like the Miami Dolphins and the Washington Redskins. But ,as I said, I don’t follow football much.”

Now they’re really disappointed.

Long silence.

“I follow European soccer a bit.”

“Oh really? You’re a professional soccer player?”  – Kid 1

“I can kick a ball – for fun.”

Disappointed again.  Silence.

“What’s the name of your team?” – K2

“Barcelona.”

“What?” – Kid 2

“Barca. So where are you kids coming from?”

“Centerville.” – Both

“Cool!” pretending I know where it is.

“Where are you from?” – Kid 1

“Ghana.”

“Where’s that?” – Kid 1

“That’s a quiz.”

“Africa” – Kid 2

“Africa is right.”

“Africa???” – Kid 1

To myself: “Oh boy, here we go.”

“Cool!” – both + 1 more

Pick your stereotype: elephants, giraffes, trees, lion king….

…“So what’s the biggest animal you’ve killed?” – not if I’ve ever killed an animal – “Elephant?” – Kid 1

Now the coach draws nearer, fearing a crisis.

Me to coach: “No, it’s cool.” “Actually, I saw my first elephant at Busch Gardens in Tampa.”

“What, you don’t like to hunt?” – Kid 1

Now he’s really disappointed.

Silence.

“I’ve been to Tampa.” – Kid 3

Silence.

“So where else have you been?”  – Kid 3

OK, we got an adventurer here.

“A couple of places.”

“Have you been to Iowa?” – Kid 2

“Well, he is in Iowa.” – Kid 1

“So what brings you to Iowa?” – Kid 3

“I came for Grinnell College, down the street.”

“Why?” – Kid 1

“To give a lecture.”

“What’s a lecture” – Kid 2

“A talk” – coach

“Oh you’re a college talker?” – Kid 1

“Well, I’ve never put it that way, but, I guess, yes.

OK, Now I gotto give this kids something to go home and brag about.

“Well, I’ve been on a safari in South Africa, and I stayed in a tree house and wild beasts roamed free under me under me”

“Cool!” – all

“I saw a movie where two men were in a car and a lion came and….yadda yadda yadda…is that where you were?” – Kid 3

Now the coach figures he’s got to do something!

Drawing closer. Smiling. Patting kid on the back, “Africa is biiiiiig country, Brandon.”

Really good grits. I might need the energy. But where to begin? And with whom? The Secretary of Education? The media. The coach? The kids?